In the event you did not already know this, letterboxing involves turning off the television, getting off the couch, gathering the basic human necessities to survive for a few hours away from a refrigerator, and wandering off into the woods. This includes, at a MINIMUM, one protein-bar per hour per person, one liter of water per hour per person, a functional compass, an emergency radio beacon, and a map of the area you intend to occupy. You should also consider a first aid kit, an extra set of warmer clothing, a pocket-knife or utility tool, a GPS receiver, a cell-phone, and pepper-spray. Carefully observing the above will maximize, but not insure, your chances of returning home intact. Ignoring it can, and eventually will, get you lost, hurt, and or dead. Prepare yourself properly, and consider yourself warned.


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Copyright ©2000-2017 RIBNAG. Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.1 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with the Invariant Section being this disclaimer, with no Front-Cover Texts, and with no Back-Cover Texts. A copy of the GNU FDL is available on request, or from the GNU website.

Furry-tail Theatre presents:

Hello Kitty and the Sorcerer's Stamp
Confirmed Missing


Once upon a meow, Hello Kitty lived with her adopted family in Bangor, Maine. Her family, the Grindleys, treated her just awfully. All the other people in town seemed nice enough, on the few occasions when Kitty got to go outside (usually only to run an errand), but the Grindleys seemed to hate poor Kitty. They even made her sleep in a closet under the stairs!

One day a letter came for Hello Kitty. The Grindley's real son, Grinder Grindley (A real beast of a boy), managed to grab the letter before Kitty could read it, and ran to whine to his father that Kitty had gotten mail. Mr. Grindley looked horrified and tore up the letter at once. The next day, the very same thing happened! This repeated itself every morning, until almost a week later, when Kitty managed to read her mail before anyone noticed.

The letter read, "Ratsnouts Highschool of Wizzardry has accepted you as a member of this year's class. Please purchase all necessary supplies and arrive here by next Thursday."

A few days later, as Hello Kitty walked the third of a mile along Grandview Avenue from Broadway, she realized she didn't quite know how to reach her destination.

"Hi there. First time at Ratsnouts?", a soft voice asked.

Kitty turned around to see a young bunny standing behind her. "Yeah. I can't seem to find Ratsnouts.", Kitty explained. "Would you mind if I follow you there?"

"Sure. A bit silly of you, though, expecting them to make it easy for anyone to wander into a school for wizzards. Oh, by the way, call me Melody. Now, let's see... We'll find it here somewhere on our left..."


Hello Kitty and My Melody soon seemed the best of friends, and as the year wore on, they had many great adventures. None so great, though, as what occurred during the week of final exams.

"But Kitty," Melody protested, "You know the woods East of Ratsnouts count as off-limits. We could get expelled!"

Hello Kitty replied "I know, Melody, but we *must* get to the Sorcerer's Stamp before the evil Lady Catnip gets it! I can't ask you to go with me, but I have to do this."

As Kitty started walking forward, she soon heard her friend running to catch up to her. "I can't let you go alone", Melody mumbled.

Just ahead, they saw the sign marking the entrance to the scary forest. To the unenlightened, it seemed to say only "Prentiss Woods". To anyone who could see the magical writing on the sign, however, it also read "Do not enter unless you want to die a horrible, painful death!". Kitty and Melody, able to read that of course, shuddered.

"Well, let's get this over with" Melody managed to say. "That book we found said we need to start by heading North."

After walking for a few minutes, though it seemed like hours, they came across a four-way intersection.

Melody looked hopeless. "Now what?", she moaned.

"I know!", Kitty exclaimed, "We could try that new spell that Professor Sambledore taught us!".

"Good idea!", Melody said. "Now how did that go again... Ah!"

"Mumble bumble missed perfection, guide us in the right direction!", the two girls intoned together.

Suddenly, a luminous ball appeared and descended toward them from the sky, slowing as it drew closer. A few seconds later, the glow faded, and they saw a map floating in the air before them.

"Hmm, okay, we need to go North," Kitty commented. "So, ignore the hard left, then immediately bear left at the fork."

As soon as they started walking, the map disappeared.

"I sure hope we don't have to make any more turns," Melody whimpered as they proceeded on their quest.

After another few minutes they saw a path branch off to the left.

"Oh no, now what?" they both thought.

"Why not just get another map?", Melody suggested.

Hello Kitty answered her friend: "Can't. That spell only works once a day, and if we just wait around here until tomorrow, Lady Catnip will certainly get to the Stamp first!"

Melody asked, "Well, what should we do?"

"I don't know. Let's just keep moving. I say we head left," Hello Kitty suggested.

After only a few steps, however, they saw that they had come to the edge of the forest, and could see Ratsnouts looming before them.

"Well, at least we didn't waste much time before realizing that direction won't get us anywhere", Kitty sighed.

Retracing their steps back to that bad left turn, they continued Northwest, the direction they hadn't gone. Kitty and Melody very soon started to have a very bad feeling. Directly ahead they saw a bench, and due North of that they saw a very obvious boulder, atop which Lady Catnip awaited them.

"So, you've come to stop me, have you?", Catnip screeched. "Well, I don't have the Stamp yet, but I soon will, because you two will find it for me!".

Kitty and Melody both tried to run, but found they couldn't move their feet. Kitty whispered to Melody "Let's play along, then once we find the Stamp, she won't have any power over us". Melody nodded in agreement.

"Okay, I'll find it, but only if you send Melody back to Ratsnouts first", Kitty shouted.

Melody gasped and started to protest, but before she could say anything, Lady Catnip responded "Fine, done." With a swish and a flick of Catnip's tail, Melody had vanished, reappearing back in her room at Ratsnouts. "Now get me that Stamp!".

Kitty walked toward the boulder, getting more nervous with each of the 22 steps it took. She tried to remember the words of the legend of the Sorcerer's Stamp. "Walking into the sunset will show you your dreams; only when you turn away can you attain the reality," Kitty remembered.

Hello Kitty thought about this for a minute, then decided she had figured it out.

In a sudden, action-packed scene full of leaps, kicks, Matrix-like special effects, a pounding techno sountrack, and one chibi-cut where Catnip whacks a surprised Kitty with a giant hammer, Kitty managed to knock her opponent off the rock, grab the Stamp, and vanquish the evil Lady Catnip forever (or at least until the sequel) by channeling the life-force of her dead goldfish Mr. Fishy through the stamp. Kitty then collapses unconscious-but-safe for someone to conveniently find her later.


A few days later, she woke up in the infirmary at Ratsnouts, with Professor Sambledore standing by the foot of her bed.

"Oh, good to see you've recovered", he said.

Kitty sat up suddenly, and fired off a volley of questions about the safety of her friends, the Stamp, what had happened to Lady Catnip, and things of that nature.

The Professor quieted her and answered "You can see your friends downstairs at the feast in a few minutes. You seem to have defeated Catnip for now. As for the stamp, I have left it where you found it, it seems safe there for now. Now, if you feel up to it, go have dinner with your friends."


The End



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